JOYAS DE PANAMA CIGARS

I first read about these offerings from the mountains of Panama in an article in Playboy a couple years back.  It peaked my curiosity and I decided to buy a sampler pack of five.  

Country: Panama

Wrapper: Maduro

Price: $6.50

Strength: Medium

Length: 5.0

Gauge: 50

Joyas de Panama cigars are quality artisan products made of organic Cuban seed tobacco. The leaves are hand selected and examined for quality assurance. No chemicals, pesticides or machines are used in the growing or production of this sustainable product. The cigars are mild to medium in flavor, thus accessible to a wide audience of enthusiasts.

The cigars are 100% puros, all Panamanian product. Cigars are individually wrapped in cellophane, and bundled or boxed in packs of 25. 

Panama has a rich history of cigar manufacturing for over 100 years. The tobacco is grown in the Chiriqui province of Panama, a lush region well known for its agricultural products. The rich volcanic soil and shade canopy give the tobacco its Colorado Maduro color and smooth, full flavor. The consistent tropical climate of Panama has been a prime location for cigar production, much like her neighbors, Cuba, Nicaragua and Honduras.

The cigars are constructed of a long filler with Sumatran wrapper. They are mild to medium in flavor, with a smooth, even draw. These smokes have been described as imparting a spicy nutmeg flavor, blending rich leather with hints of rum and oak.

I've had these in my humidor since late July so they had ample time to acclimate.  I was excited to try these cigars but like the Camacho I wasn't all that impressed.  The draw was a little too tight and if you've ever fought a cigar with a poor draw it can become exhausting and unenjoyable after a bit!  The burn was even and the ash was very consistent with a slight grey color.  I thought the cigars were very well made.  The taste was very earthy.  I didn't find any hints of spice tough.  I thought the smoke was earthy as well with a slight richness.  I wonder if the cigar had a better draw if I would've had a more enjoyable smoke?  I need to try another one in 6 months or so.  The Jury is still out on these cigars.  If you plan on trying a few e-mail their company and haggle with them over shipping...they're a new company and need to build a solid base so they may be willing to send you the cigars for free shipping.  I can't recommend these or tell you to stay away.  I think you should find out for yourself if you have about $40 lying around!

Cheers!

OLIVA NUB 460 MADURO @NUBCIGAR

I'm a huge fan of the NUB brand of cigars.  I first tried a 460 Maduro in a CI sampler pack.  It featured not only the Maduro but the Camaroon, Habana, and Conneticuit!  For those of you not familiar with the NUB brand then read on:

Nub cigars started as a theory. Born in the Oliva factory, a cigar maker was hell-bent on proving he could capture the essence - the core - of a cigar’s flavor immediately upon lighting and throughout the duration of the smoke.  Rather than wait for a cigar to develop and evolve, which typically occurs an inch to two inches in, the idea behind Oliva’s Nub was to specifically blend it to hit its sweet spot right off the bat and remain at its peak right through to the end. Each size is short and stout in stature. That’s by design - not for novelty - as blends and sizes were worked and re-worked a thousand ways from Sunday in order for Nub creator Sam Leccia and the Oliva family to capture the essence of each Nub cigar blend. Anyone can create unusual shapes, each of the Nub blends and accompanying shapes was instead created to summon and deliver the blend’s sweet spot. 

Country: Nicaragua

Wrapper: Brazilian

Price: $6.57

Strength: Full

Length: 4

Gauge: 60

I was hooked after my first NUB so back in November of 2010 I bought a box of NUB 460 Maduros.  I immediately smoked a few then began the long process of letting them age in my humidor which is hard to do because I always want to smoke one!  Well it's been over 2.5 years and I finally decided to have one recently!  I was very pleased.  The cigars have mellowed a bit but still maintain that strong richness that the NUB maduro is known for!  The draw was excellent and the cigar was enjoyable from start to finish!  The burn was true and even!  I nearly finished the stick before the ash fell off but sadly couldn't quite get there!

Cheers!

SIERRA NEVADA SOUTHERN HEMISHPHERE @SierraNevada

I have to admit I love Sierra Nevada's beers.   One of my favorites is their Bigfoot Barleywine style ale!  That is some kickin shit!!  Sierra Nevada describes their SH Harvest Ale as:

Our newest addition to our Harvest family is Southern Hemisphere Harvest. This is the first time we know of that an American brewer has put out a beer with fresh-picked hops from the southern hemisphere. The inaugural ale will debut in late April and will feature fresh Pacific Hallertau, New Zealand Motueka and New Zealand Southern Cross hops, all from New Zealand.

Like our Celebration Ale, the fresh hops in this beer are dried right after being picked then shipped immediately to Chico for brewing so that they retain their peak aromatics and flavors. To ensure the freshest hops possible, we went to the added expense of flying these hops from New Zealand to Chico so we could brew with them the week after they were picked.

Style: American IPA
IBU: 67
%ABV: 6.7
Brewery: Sierra Nevada

Beer Advocate rates Southern Hemisphere Harvest Ale a 91.

I shared this with Turbo and Big Cookie the other night during the Giants vs. Cowboys game!  The Assassin couldn't make it for reasons unknown but rumor has it it was female related!  Anyways I loved this beer.  It had a very nice hop profile with floral hints!  The beer was smooth.  I didn't think it was too malty or too hoppy.  I highly recommend this beer if you can find it.  I went back to Baesler's but it was sold out!  I'm kicking myself in the ass because at $4.99 a bottle I should've bought a few for the winter!  Live and learn!  

Cheers!

CAMACHO COYOLAR (BLACK) @camachocigars

I first got this cigar  in a 5 pack sampler a couple of years back.  They've been in the humidor for a while now.  Camacho Coyolar Puro Rothschild Dark Natural cigars set a whole new standard for bold, EXTRA-full-bodied tobacco flavor. These stunning cigars are handmade with a mucho potent blend of all-Honduran-grown long-filler tobaccos grown on the Coyolar farm (where this cigar gets its name). The smoke is well-balanced and warm with dark, earthy, spicy flavors. Best recommended for the cigar smoker with a hard-core palate - seriously! 

Country: Honduras

Wrapper: Maduro

Price: $5.66

Strength: Full

Length: 4.5

Gauge: 50

This cigar took me a good two hours to enjoy!  The cigar had a better than average draw which I’ve found to be the case with all Camachos.  The ash burnt even and true!  The smoke was rich smelling and had hints of spice, but mostly woody. I thought the flavor was a little bitter but I think if I smoked a few more I would acquire a taste for this particular offering from Camacho.  It took me awhile to find the sweet spot and I'm not even sure I ever found it.  I was a fairly smooth smoke all the way from start to finish!  I purchased these off my iPhone app; Cigar Monster through Famous Smoke.  

Of all the Camacho lines I've tried this is probably my least favorite.  For a Cigar just under $7 I thought it could've done more for me.  However when compared to other cigars in a similar category this one holds up well, I just don't see myself ever buying a box like I would with Camacho's triple maduro or Corojo lines.  All that being said try one if you get a chance and make your own judgement!

Cheers!

STONE CRIME & PUNISHMENT @StoneBrewingCO

The other day I had to pleasure of hanging out with Lucifer!  As we sat and talked shop he told me I looked parched and asks me if I wanted a beer!  A beer with the first fallen angel...Uh Fuck and Yes!  He sauntered away and came back with a gold rimmed snifter and served it to me with his perfectly manicured hands!  The first sip was a little different and it was soon followed by an intense burn, then the burn got hotter until it was well...pretty fucking intense!  After a few drinks I said my thirst was pretty quenched but he insisted I finish!  About and hour later I was breathing fire!  My face was a little flush and thin beads of sweat were beginning to form on my face!  As I put that snifter down he said "still thirsty?" before I could say NO he produced yet another snifter!  Again he insisted I finish this glass as well!  If I thought the last glass was hot, well this one was hot as three hells hot!  Son-of-a-bitch it was hot!  My throat burned, my lips burned, fuck me everything burned!  He then said "Hungry my boy?" and again before I could say NO he produced a mouth watering slice of Wise Pies Carnivore Pizza!  I took a bit, took a sip and...VOLCANIC FIRE!  WOW!  Red faced, sweat covered, mouth on fire I have finally finished the beer and pizza!  With tears running down my face I asked Lucifer what in the hell kinda beer did he just give me?  His reply...Stone Brewing's Crime & Punishment! 

Beer: Stone Crime

ABV%: 9.6

Style: Chile Beer

Beer Advocate: 66 Poor

"What do you call it when Greg takes his entire harvest 
bounty of chili pepper varieties from his own personal garden, take half of them and add to...and thus ruin...an otherwise beautiful oak barrel of Double Dry Hopped Luck Basartd Ale?"

 

A: "A Crime!" 

This beer (Crime) was hot as hell!  I've tried Founder's Mango Jabanero beer and it was not even

 in this beers ball park!  The beer poured a deep dark caramel color with little to no head!  Sticking my nose into the glass and taking a big whiff I actually coughed a bit!  The pepper aroma was pretty strong.  If there was any bastard in that beer I couldn't find it.  The first sip was hot and the next sip hotter!  As the beer warmed up it became evident there was really no beer taste at all, it was like drinking fermented pepper water!  I was surprisingly pleasant after awhile because you become addicted to the heat!  I can see why it got a 66 from Beer Advocate because this isn't a beer you sit back and drink with your buddies, this is a beer you try to try and say "I tried it"!  It was the hottest beer I've had that is until I popped the cork on it's brother...Punishment!

Beer: Stone Punishment

ABV%: 12

Style: Chile Beer

Beer Advocate: 70 Okay

Q: "What do you call it when you take a sip of oak barrel aged Double Bastard Ale that's had the other half of the bounty of chili peppers from Greg's home garden ceremoniously added in, resulting in a punishingly intense level of hot pepper heat to an already overly intense beer whose elevated alcohol level caused a significant transference of pain-inducing 
capsicum?" 



A: "Punishment."

If I thought Crime was hot, this was "Drag my ass across the carpet like a dog whose ass is on fire hot!"  The physical characteristics were very similar to Crime but the first sip wasn't as hot which was weird because I thought this beer was supposed to be more hot than Crime.  Turns out I was correct because after about three sips my fucking mouth was on fire and after a bite of Pizza it lit the hell up like I just threw gas on it!  God Damn it was hot.  My throat burned, my lips burned.  My face and ears got hot and my forehead started to sweat!  I struggled through every drink until I finished it!  My stomach was definitely upset!  

These beers (Crime & Punishment) are probably not the beers you want at a tailgate, or a party but they're definitely worth trying if you like to challenge you senses of taste!  I wish I would have followed up these beers with a Green Flash Pallet Wrecker so I could've thoroughly destroyed by sense of taste for the evening!  Sadly I didn't feel like drinking anything after either of these beers!  If you've never tried a Chile Beer I suggest you try just for the sake of saying you've had one!  If you can drink a whole bomber I think I speak for Charlie Sheen in saying you're full blown WINNING!

Cheers!

THE CASE FOR NOT MIXING BEERS!

Everyone’s been there, you start trying different beer styles and well one thing leads to another and eventually you achieve the Even Horizon of a drunkard!  This actually happened to me and I consider myself a seasoned pro and full of more common sense.  However the Sunday before Christmas I had a relapse in stupidity that was so blatant and ridiculously awesome that I can only tell it as best I can here.  Words don’t really do it justice because to appreciate the full glory of that day you had to have been there!

It all started with me inviting GQ’s brother and his Andre the Giant mug over to McHooligan’s for the Jets-Dolphins game.  The plan of origin was to have him stop over, watch the game, grab the 3Floyd’s Gumball Head we had gotten him and he be on his way post game!  Like with all good plans, that was subject to change and change came in the form of several beers!  We each started off with a few light 12 oz curls.  Mine was in the form of a Dale’s Pale ale. I don’t remember what he had.  I followed the DPA up with a Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA and again no clue what he had next.  We were over halfway through the Jets game when we or he rather decided to try a whiskey flight…good idea.  I decided to break out the heavy hitters…20 oz bombers of Oak Aged beers of assorted styles.  Let’s rehash this…I’d already had a beer that was 7% followed by one at 9% by all means I’m pretty sure I was legally drunk so why the fuck not amp this shit up a tad and bust out the heavy hitter beers?

First up was Widmer Bros. Kill Devil 13 Oaked Brown Ale, 9.5%!  we split that bad boy pretty quick!  Next up was Oak Aged Hatter by New Holland, 5.1% which shockingly was weak!  We polished that off as well.  By this time the Steelers-Packers game was on and GQ’s brother was supposed to be headed home.  Nope we decided we needed to finish out beers and pop a few more!  We next his the Schlafly’s Barlywine, 10%  BOOM!  But we weren’t done there because Barleywine’s are the shit right so we popped a bomber of 3Floyd’s Behemoth Barleywine, 12.50 fucking %...Legion of Boom!  Now granted during this last supper of beer I was supposed to be watching the Steelers-Packers game!  Next thing I know I’m waking up on my bathroom floor!!

2.5 Hours Earlier!

We were getting shit faced drunk.  I don't remember the details but as some point GQ's brother and I had out shirts off taking selfies with Star Wars helmets on as well as doing a photo shoot with Chief Wooden Head.  At some point my mom showed up and GQ's brother started doing selfies with her...he made her wear his Jets jacket in a few of them...WOW.  We apparently ordered a Joe's pizza which coincidently I don't remember eating at all!  I don't remember the Steelers-Packers game at all which I was watching the whole time.  I don't remember taking the pictures at all!  At some point I remember GQ basically calling broken arrow and getting the hell out of dodge.  She knew where all this was headed!   What I definitely remember was me and GQ's brother talking about watching that Bears-Eagles game after he went home and ate, he was going to come back over I guess!  So while he was getting ready to leave I had to take a shit!  So I sauntered upstairs and tried to take off my Rod Woodson jersey but couldn't because I was too drunk!  So I dropped my Steelers sweats and with a partially on Rod Woodson jersey I took a shit!  As I was finishing my business I felt dizzy and sick.  So like the pro I am I stoops up, pants around ankles, Woodson jersey hanging off one side of me...proceeded to puke all over the shit I just took!  God it felt great!  As I was on my knees with my exposed dirty asshole with vomit dripping from my beard it became apparent to me I was drunk so I proceeded to pass out on my bathroom rug, pants down, butt not wiped and slowly drying vomit in my beard!

Hours later I wake up!  I have no idea what has happened.  My asshole is burning from the dried shit on it, I felt like a baby with diaper rash!  I got up, cleaned up and tried to regain my composure!  I thought only a few minutes had passed but when I entered the living room and turned on the TV I saw the Bears were downs 21-0!  Holy shit I thought!  I went down to the bar and GQ's brother was nowhere to be found!  I cleaned up things as best I could and headed back upstairs and dangerously took a shower (I was still hammered), put some Desitin Diaper Rash ointment on my ass and went to bed.  

Around 3:00 am I woke up with a splitting headache!  I took some Aleeve, drank a giant glass of water and went back to bed!  I woke up Monday morning feeling surprisingly ok just a little tired!  Here is the amazing part...I made it to work!  When I next saw GQ's brother it was at Christmas!  He was in the doghouse as well!  Apparently we were down in my bar a total of 7 hours or so!  His wife called him at some point asking when he was coming home and he told he was gonna be there in like 15 minutes...3 hours later he showed up and he was shit faced just like me!  I'm shocked he was able to walk home!  This all happened on a Sunday folks!  WOW!  Needless to say I haven't drank much since then, and he's banned from McHoolignan's for awhile too!  So heed this warning, don't mix your beers or you may end up on your bathroom floor with your pants down, shit in your asshole, covered in Puke!!!

Cheers!

WAR MULLET (@3floyds)

Back in December a few important things happened:

1.     My birthday

2.     Christmas

3.     My X-wife let me know she's still crazy

4.     Me and said FTG went to 3Floyd’s Brewery!!

Now no.4 on that list is pretty important because not only did we make the 3 hour journey to Munster enduring cold weather, long lines and ultimately food poisoning followed by the worst cold I’ve had in 15 years, but I made it back from the brewery with some pretty good fucking beer.  I bring you War Mullet by 3Floyd’s Brewery!

Style: American Imperial/ Double IPA

%ABV: 8.1

Brewery: 3Floyd’s Brewery

BeerAdvocate: 91 Outstanding

I’ve never had a beer from 3Floyd’s that I didn’t like!  I’m not gonna spend 50 words licking War Mullet’s asshole either so I’ll get to the point, it’s fucking delicious!   The Beer poured a nice amber color with a nice bubbly head with a nice citrusy aroma.There were no floral notes but there were strong citrusy notes.    Sip after sip yielded sweet orange hop notes.  For a double it wasn’t too strong with subtle malty hints.  I served it at slightly below room temperature and as it warmed it definitely became more flavorful.  There were notes I couldn’t place as well.  The most impressive part of this beer as is the case with all 3Floyd’s beers was the bottle art work!  I liked the art so much on War Mullet I ponied up and bought a t-shirt!  War Mullet is boss as fuck and if you aren’t trying 3Floyd’s beers then you’re missing out on some amazing beers! 

Cheers!