WIDMER ALCHEMY ALE @Widmer_Brothers

Buildups really fucking suck right?  For weeks now Widmer Brothers has been cock-teasing with this charlatan called “Alchemy Ale”!  For weeks I’ve had to endure the constant rise and settle of my boner as Widmer posts pic after pic of this Ale!  Well I’m here to tell you that tasting this beer was like seeing a chick with incredibly amazing tits in a two sizes to small top!  Those tits that just explode out your eyes you’re so transfixed by their awesome titiness and when you finally get the opportunity to do every dirty awesome thing to said tits, you remove them from their carefully crafted package and they look terrible, saggy…nothing like the perky, fully formed titties they were in their nice “hey look at these tits” package!  This was how I felt when I took the first sip of Alchemy Ale!

Style: American Pale Ale

%ABV: 5.8

IBU: 40

Brewery: Widmer Brothers Brewing

Beer Advocate: 81 Good!

The only things I can think of as I write this post that are more disappointing than this beer are in order:  the craftsmanship of the douches who built my breakfast nook, the 2012 Steelers, my recent judgment on Wednesdays, and maybe my X? 

It’s not that this was a bad beer, that’s not what I’m saying!  This beer was just not as good as what I thought it was going to be, and that pisses me off!  I dropped around $10 on a six pack of these and now I’m stuck drinking mediocrity 5 more times!  I don’t know if I can live with that burden! 

The beer poured a nice light orange/ amber color with notes of citrus and a slight hop aroma!   The taste was overall pleasant, but rather “meh” when I compare it to other more ballsy America Pale Ales like Dale’s Pale Ale!  It really didn’t have a complex flavor to speak of!  It was just bland and who knows it might be a good easy drinking summer beer, but I’m not into that shit!  If you read these posts you know I want a beer I can lose my shit on and make terrible decisions!  That’s my beer, and Alchemy Ale, you’re just not my beer!

Cheers!