CAMACHO TRIPLE MADURO @camachocigars

I highly doubt (Lord) Darth Vader smokes.  I mean the guy was quartered by a lightsaber and left for dead on the banks of a volcanic planet so it's not outside the realm of possibility that he may be a little against smoking considering he's encased in an armored life support suit with a built in ventilator!  But it's also not outside the realm of possibility that at the end of a long day killing rogue Jedi, massacring entire planets and vaporizing entire star systems in the cadillac of sociopathic destruction engines-the Death Star, the guy would just like to relax in his quarters with a nice glass of scotch and cigar!  If he indeed did this I would have to imagine this cigar would be the Camacho Triple Maduro!

Country: Honduras
Wrapper: Maduro
Strength: Full
Length: 4 1/2
Gauge: 50

Camacho Havana cigars are rich, spicy-tasting cigars that will remind you of the old Havana blends.  Medium to full in body, each cigars handmade with carefully-aged, 100% Honduran-grown, cuban-seed Corojo fillers.  The oily, natural wrappers are Jamastran Habano Criollo.  The result is a hearty smoke with a snappy, peppery finish!

I've had several Triple Maduros and each and every one from first to most recent was

outstanding!  I can't tell you how amazing this cigar tastes if you're a fan of full-rich tasting cigars!  Rich is a perfect description for the Triple Maduro!  It's everything that I hoped the Drew Estate Liga Privada would be but wasn't!  That cigar was disappointing!  But the Camacho Triple Maduro is anything but!  If you used the words disappointing in a sentence with this cigar it would be to say "you were disappointed you didn't have more"!  From the construction (which is excellent) to the look which is sleek and cool, this cigar is a must have for your humidor!  It will stand out amongst your other cigars!  The dry draw was great with noted of coffee and earthyness!  After lighting the first few puffs yielded a richness thay I can only describe as rich and espresso-chocolatey! Midway through I found notes of cream, dark cherry, and still coffee! If I was going to smoke a cigar after a meal, it would be this one!  I haven't had a Maduro since the Gurkha Ghost (which was excellent) and the Camacho Triple Maduro made me recall how awesome fantastic Maduros are!  

Recently Camacho has merged with Davidoff (love their Short-Perfecto Special series) and they (Camacho) just launched a massive rebranding campaign!  I can tell you the sky is the limit for the Camacho brand.  They were already a world renowned brand and now they're going to be a universe renowned brand as I said in the beginning of this post because Darth fucking Vader will more than likely be sitting in his private quarters looking all burnt and shit thinking of what a weird asshole the Emperor is as he puffs on his Camacho Triple Maduro looking out the window of the Death Star thinking..."there is no way in hell anyone will ever blow this SOB up...EVER"!  

Cheers!

WIDMER ALCHEMY ALE @Widmer_Brothers

Buildups really fucking suck right?  For weeks now Widmer Brothers has been cock-teasing with this charlatan called “Alchemy Ale”!  For weeks I’ve had to endure the constant rise and settle of my boner as Widmer posts pic after pic of this Ale!  Well I’m here to tell you that tasting this beer was like seeing a chick with incredibly amazing tits in a two sizes to small top!  Those tits that just explode out your eyes you’re so transfixed by their awesome titiness and when you finally get the opportunity to do every dirty awesome thing to said tits, you remove them from their carefully crafted package and they look terrible, saggy…nothing like the perky, fully formed titties they were in their nice “hey look at these tits” package!  This was how I felt when I took the first sip of Alchemy Ale!

Style: American Pale Ale

%ABV: 5.8

IBU: 40

Brewery: Widmer Brothers Brewing

Beer Advocate: 81 Good!

The only things I can think of as I write this post that are more disappointing than this beer are in order:  the craftsmanship of the douches who built my breakfast nook, the 2012 Steelers, my recent judgment on Wednesdays, and maybe my X? 

It’s not that this was a bad beer, that’s not what I’m saying!  This beer was just not as good as what I thought it was going to be, and that pisses me off!  I dropped around $10 on a six pack of these and now I’m stuck drinking mediocrity 5 more times!  I don’t know if I can live with that burden! 

The beer poured a nice light orange/ amber color with notes of citrus and a slight hop aroma!   The taste was overall pleasant, but rather “meh” when I compare it to other more ballsy America Pale Ales like Dale’s Pale Ale!  It really didn’t have a complex flavor to speak of!  It was just bland and who knows it might be a good easy drinking summer beer, but I’m not into that shit!  If you read these posts you know I want a beer I can lose my shit on and make terrible decisions!  That’s my beer, and Alchemy Ale, you’re just not my beer!

Cheers!

TTT TRINIDAD RESERVE SHORT CHURCHILL

The TTT Trinidad Reserve Short Churchill is one of the most pleasant smokes I’ve had in a long time and I actually forgot I had a few in the Ark!  I bought these little babies on sale from JR Cigars about two years ago in a tin of 10!  I dug one out for last week’s Dude Golf Outing in Terre Haute, IN at Ray Park!  Me, Cookie, the Assassin and Snake all met up for a pretty awesome day of golf!  BTW I found 6-packs of Schlitz for $3.21!  WOW!  Dangerous!

Country: Honduras

Wrapper: Maduro

Strength: Full

Length: 4.5

Gauge: 54

Bolder than its Dominican predecessor, the full-bodied Trinidad Reserve is rolled at the Honduras La Flor De Copan factory.  With an excitingly peppery taste, thanks to the Ecuadorian Cubano wrapper, Nicaraguan binder, and aged Honduran and Nicaraguan fillers to provide smooth balance, this rich cigar is often enjoyed by the experienced connoisseur!

I don’t remember the first time I had this cigar, but I will remember it from now on!  It was one of the most peppery smooth cigars I’ve ever had including recent Nicaraguan puros!  It was very well constructed with no soft spots to the touch.  The cigar cut clean and had a very spicy smell in the foot.  The dry –draw was very woody.  After lighting the first few puffs were just as I described…peppery.  In fact the whole smoke was peppery and spicy with subtle hints of cedar and earth.  I enjoyed this cigar a lot and I think this would be an everyday cigar for anyone who’s in to full-bodies smokes!

The TTT Trinidad was so good in fact that after we finished eating at 7^th and Elm the Assassin proposed we go to the Club Koyote!  We rolled up to the titty bar around 6 Illinois time (that’s when they open) and paid the $5 cover!  After the dude at the door took out cash and stamped our hands he then let us know that the ladies weren’t dancing for another hour!  Assassin asked the idiot why he didn’t tell us that prior to us dropping $5!  So we had to figure out our next move.  Assassin proposed going down the package liquor store and getting a 12 pack of beer and sitting on our tailgates and drinking for an hour to which I replied “yeah that’s a bad idea”!  I then proposed driving home and getting Kool-Aid to drive us back to which when asked her said “I’m tired, but I’ll do it”!  So Kool-Aid shit, showered and shaved then picked the Assassin and me up and we headed to West T where we spent the next 4 hours with “TITTIES IN OUR FACE”!  Wow it was a long night and there was no Zombie Dust involved!!  Thank you TTT Trinidad!

Cheers!

TWO BROTHER'S HELIO-CENTRIC ALE @TwoBrothersBeer

Every so often you pop the cap on a beer and it’s just a great and enjoyable beer, not unlike a stripper with a nice face, tits, body who also has a great personality and a good head on her shoulders!  I give you Helio-Centric Braggot by Two Brother’s Brewery!

Style: Braggot

%ABV: 7.50

Brewery: Two Brothers Brewing Company

Beer Advocate: 78 OK, Horse shit beer advocate!

I bought this bomber around last November!  I’ve been meaning to drink it but never got around to it until I looked in my bar and found I had around 40 bombers of beer and felt real guilty and decided I needed to start sharing this beer with my bros!  So I did just that during a recent beer and cigars night! 

This was an awesome beer.  To describe the taste, it tasted almost like a barrel-aged ale but without the strong alcohol taste.  A Braggot also called bracket or bracket is originally brewed with honey and hops, later with honey and malt-with or without hops added.  This was definitely brewed with honey and malt because it had that sweet taste characteristic of meads with a malty body and finish!  The beer poured a nice deep, dark amber color, actually almost the color of honey!  There was little to no lacing on the glass and a minimal head!  There were definite notes of honey throughout which should be the fucking case with an ale brewed with honey!  What struck me was the heavy malty flavor which accentuated the honey notes! 

I loved this beer.  It was one of the smoothest beers I’ve had this year that didn’t involve an insane amount of hops along with an alcohol content that would make a guy stay out till 1:00 am on a Wednesday night!  I believe that the Helio-Centric is a seasonal ale by Two Brothers and I plan on getting a few bottles this fall! 

Cheers!

SURROGATES SKULL BREAKER @SurrogatesCigar

Skullbreaker, pretty bad-ass name for a cigar no?  Well this cigar by Surrogates lived up to the name for once and Daddy was happy! 

Country: Nicaragua

Wrapper: Nicaraguan

Strength: Full

Length 5.25

Gauge: 52

Price: $7.50

Surrogates is a cigar line blended and rolled by My Father Cigars in Esteli, Nicaragua for Pete Johnson’s Tatuaje brand.  Surrogates is meant for those smokers that enjoy full bodied, spicy cigars which are also very full in flavor.  Distributed by L’Atelier Imports, Surrogates boasts itself as a “Limited Edition quality at an everyday price”!

I bought this cigar around a month ago at Binny’s after reading a review in Cigar Press magazine.  The review was positive enough to convince me to drop some cash and grab the Skull Breaker.  This particular cigar is a belicoso shape with a deep, dark almost espresso wrapper.  The cigar was well constructed.  The dry smell was roasty and strong with tobacco aromas!  After I cut this baby the draw was great.  I lit it up and right off the bat strong pepper notes exploded onto the scene just like a Nicaraguan cigar should!  The pepper notes stayed strong for a few minutes but soon changed as notes of earth and leather began to form.  Yet again the cigar changed adding spicy notes.  The finish wasn’t anything special as the most enjoyable part of this cigar was the first 2/3^rds . 

I enjoyed this cigar a lot.  I was curious as to what the Surrogates line was all about and I found out.  At around $7.50 a stick I think they’re a little overpriced but I’m not a business expert.  I doubt I’d buy anymore just for the simple fact there are so many good cigars out there that I feel I need to keep trying different things and reviewing them for my own database!  If you’re feeling adventurous and have some cash laying around then try a Surrogates Skullbreaker! 

Cheers!

COHIBA XV 550 @cohiba

Last Wednesday I turned into the Golden Werewolf which led to me doing things I didn’t think I was capable of or saying things that I didn’t know were buried deep in my perverted self conscious!  That being said the night started out innocent enough with a nice glass of Glen Moray single malt scotch and a Cohiba Extra Vigoroso (XV) on the porch of wisdom.  Luckily before I was brow beaten into going on a quest for  Zombie Dust I was able to finish this cigar, and it was definitely stronger than what I remember!

Country: Dominican Republic

Wrapper: Maduro

Strength: Full

Length: 5

Gauge: 50

Price $10.99

The most distinctive leaf of a Cohiba XV cigar is its sun-grown Sumatra wrapper from Ecuador.  Harvested only from the tops of the tobacco plants, each of these wrapper leaves is aged in Terico for three years.  The flavor is then enhanced by aging all of the leaves again for six months in crates of fragrant cedar.  In crafting Cohiba XV cigars, the most flavorful Nicaraguan ligero and Dominican Piloto Cubano ligero are bound with the richest three year-old Connecticut broadleaf.  The result is a cigar that is made not only to please, but also impress.

I bought a box of these about a year and half ago without ever smoking one prior!  Luckily these turned out to be amazing cigars.  The XV is probably the strongest cigar Cohiba Dominican makes.  It’s a beautiful and well constructed cigar with deep earthy tobacco smells!  This particular one has been in my humidor for quite sometime!  The cut was true and clean.  The draw was a little tough and that’s always disappointing to me before I light up!  However the draw proved to not be an issues.  The XV started a little bitter which is the case with most cigars with a Nicaraguan blend!  As I smoked the XV notes of leather, earth and wood were ever present!  There were points where notes of cedar and just a hint of spice peaked through!  The finish was strong and I got a bit light headed.  The XV is not my favorite of Cohiba’s line but it is a great smoke needless to say!  The XV had some balls and I don’t remember it being that way which was a good way to start off the transformation to the Golden Werewolf!

Cheers!