THE GUBNA

While I was out in Colorado with Steveo and the Assassin I hatched a plan to pack as much beer into a checked bag as humanly possible because I love some of the beers out there!  I even went so far as to consider seeing how many 12oz cans I could potentially shove up my arse if for any reason to maximize the quantity of brew to be taken home.  However if you've ever seen Midnight Express it will make you reconsider smuggling.  That movie pretty much derailed any chances of me going to Turkey for any reason whatsoever!  Which sucks because Turkish women are insanely hot and more than likely do anal!  American girls could learn a lot from foreign women.  For one thing they're all classy whores, and they're worth it, and they don't become fat, depressed, mental dunts after you put a ring on their finger and impregnate them!  I digress!  I packed this beer into a nice size small bag and made it home no problem!  Among my booty was The GUBNA IMPERIAL IPA by Oskar Blues Brewery!

Now if you've read some of my previous posts you may have figured out that I love Oskar Blues beer namely their Dale's Pale Ale!  But if I want something that's gonna hit me quick like the cost of a retainer for a divorce lawyer then I go for the GUBNA!  Oskar Blues describes the GUBNA as so:

Emphasizing that complexity of character can arise from simple elements, this ale is made with 3 malts and 1 hop. Its light amber color and slightly spicy malt character are derived from the use of German Dark Munich Malt and Rye Malt respectively. North American 2-row barley combines with the other grains to lay the foundation for the hop onslaught to come. Summit hops are used exclusively in the boil for bitterness, flavor and aroma but it doesn’t end there. Post-fermentation dry hopping allows the 10% ABV monstrosity to gently coax the citrus rind and grapefruit aroma to join the 100 IBUs already present. This beer will greet you with a pungent citrus blast, provide a spicy yet round middle and finish with a brisk, clean bitterness.

Beer Advocate Rates the GUBNA an 83 which I think is bullshit actually!  What arsehole would't like this beer!  Fuck you Beer Advocate!

I personally love this beer, but in all honesty after about 4 I'm pretty much struggling to muster up enough motor skill to keep from pooping my pants.  At a whopping 10% alcohol this shit packs a punch not to mention it is very sneaky!  It goes down so smooth that basically you have no idea your well on your way to strapping you arse in for quite the roller coaster ride of alcoholism!  All in all I think this is a fine example of an imperial IPA in fact all of Oskar Blues beers are fine examples of beer!  If I had my choice between a few of their beers or taking some average to above average broad out for dinner I would of course pick their beer because beer never talks, beer never cries, beer never throws up a meal, beer never goes bipolar after a few months on the shelf, and beer never gets fat.  Beer just gets better with age!  All you dunts could learn something from brewing beer, but that would entail you having to get off your cell phones, Facebook accounts, and fat asses and actually start something and ultimately finish it and we all know your attention spans and marketable skills aren't up to par for a task like brewing beer!  So on second thought just stay on your present course which no doubt involves eating, crying, updating your pathetic profiles and thinking life is great and you aren't fucking maniacs!  

Cheers!