ROAD TRIP UPLAND BREWERY

Post Zombie 5K Turbo and I decided we'd sidetrack on our way home and stop in Bloomington, IN to visit Upland Brewery.  Now as I've said in the past I really have no use for that hole of a city or even the state of Indiana for that matter.  Indiana is full of ultra conservative neo-bible beating jackasses who'd rather see us return to the dark ages when everyone was under the control of the mighty hand of Christianity and believed God was gonna solve all their problems! How'd that work for you dirty cocksuckers in Europe during the plague?  That's what I thought!  Equally annoying is New York state and that hole of city they harbor.  It's full of a bunch elite left wing douches who think they're better than everyone!  Ever met anyone from New York?  They make pricks from Chicago seem hospitable!  Fuck that State and that communist City they claim is the Big Apple!  I hope it gets swallowed by melting glaciers!  I'm off tangent!  Like I said Turbo and I rolled into Bloomington to sample some brew!

A few years back Turbo went all Christopher Columbus and discovered Upland on one of his maniacal road trips more than likely he took because he was having woman problems and needed to clear his mind!  What he brought back was Upland's signature beer-Double Dragonfly but the kicker was it was oak aged.  this was the first oak aged beer I had ever tried and at the time my pallet wasn't advanced enough to handle the complex flavors this behemoth delivered!  I and everyone else in McHooligan's (my basement bar) took a definite pass on Turbo's Growler of Oak Aged Double Dragonfly!  However there was one person who cowboy'd right up and helped Turbo polish off his growler...none other than the Trilogy!  The Trilogy is a definite spirits connoisseur having both brewed beer and wine as well as makes a hobby out of drinking period!  So the Trilogy and Turbo drank this whole growler which is roughly 4.5 pints of beer give or take a few drops!  Needless to say at the end of the night I'm really not sure how the Trilogy drove home, but I know that Turbo drove his ass right to my couch and commenced a mega siesta of sobering up!  

So naturally when we get to Upland with our own empty growlers in hand Oak Aged Double Dragonfly was the first beer we asked for!  Of course they didn't have it because it is a seasonal beer only brewed in the fall!  Strike two (strike one being the fact I was in Bloomington)!  Naturally after a race I'm pretty hungry so I got a menu and ordered up some food!  Now I will admit Upland had some pretty good if not great food!  I ordered the Bison Burger and it was delicious!  But what pissed me off though was that the week after I was there they (Upland) debuted their brat on a pretzel bun!  WT....FUCK!  I would've loved that!  Strike three! 

Along with eating we ordered up some beer (huge surprise)!  I started off with an imperial pint (22 oz) of Helios Ale!  I thought it was very good beer!  Since I was driving I only had one of course because I'm not a retard!  Turbo started off with a Bad Elmer's Porter!  Bad Elmer is Upland's mascot apparently and he definitely looks like a Hoosier!  The Porter was also a very good beer!  Not sure what Turbo had to eat but I'm sure it was the best ever like everything he tries!  For the record Upland has around 7 year round beers on tap in their taproom!  They are as follows: Upland Wheat, Dragonfly IPA, Helios Ale, Bad Elmer's Porter, Preservation Pilsner, Rad Red Amber Ale, and Double Dragonfly Imperial IPA!  I've sampled most of their beers with Dragonfly and Double Dragonfly being my favorite offerings from Upland!  We finished up and got a couple growlers for the road!

All in all I give Upland Brewpub a 3.5 stars out of 5!  Their waitresses ranged from marginally attractive to not real good looking!  The crowd and clientele all seemed like good people and to be honest I may slam Indiana but most people from that state are nice because if they're not they won't get into heaven...but the bible doesn't say anything about making meth...nice loophole God!  The Brewery is very nice but a little hard to get too if you're not familiar with the area!  

All that being said I recommend stopping by Upland Brewery for their beer and that damn brat on the pretzel bun!  Turbo and I plan on heading back this fall for a few Growlers of Oak Aged Double Dragonfly!  I'm sure Turbo will drink more than his fill and pass out on my $2800 dollar couch I bought to make someone happy which like everything else I did ultimately didn't accomplish the goal!  Oh Well I have pretty sweet furniture!

Cheers!

Update:  After reading this post Turbo wanted to clarify a few ties he thought were erroneously posted (Of Course)!  First off the reason he thinks everything he tries is amazing and the best ever is because he has an advanced pallet and us neanderthals don't have the skill to taste how awesome things are!  And second although I was correct in stating the Double Dragonfly was oak aged it was specifically aged in an oaken bourbon barrel so it was actually Bourbon Barrel Double Dragonfly!